Letter to the editor: How far do you think you’ll get?

How far do you think you’ll get?

Received Sept. 10

Before the court today is the sad case of the divorce of the right foot from the left foot citing (extremely) irreconcilable differences.

Frankly, your Honor, the toes on the left foot just hate the right foot, and vice versa. Neither sees the value in their arguments, their opinions, or their very existence. Neither is willing to concede the other is even human (or at least part of one).

The rest of us, being (real) tired of the acid-laced vitriol spewed by both sides, have concurred this is the only course possible. Never mind that bipedalism requires both a right and a left (or a left and a right, not wanting to offend anyone) to keep the whole wreck staggering forward. Maybe the hands and arms can make up the difference—oops, one left one right (or, you know, t’other way). Dang. Sorry guys, guess you’re on your own.

We’ve done the divvy up on the arch supports, the orthopedic hose, the anti-fungal powder (BIG fight on the argyle socks) and all is ready for, the day of purity and independence. One right, one left (or vice versa) no leaning on the other for support, or balance, just your position and only your position without input from (blechhy and/or poo poo, I spit on them) others.

So…now just how far do you two geniuses think you’ll get?

(Word count: 227)


Idaho Falls