Everybody has a Christmas that stands out in their memory like dandruff on Superman’s cape. Mine was several years ago. Bah Humbug Bill, the cow buyer, made a deal on a set of cows down below Snowville.
Diana, goddess of the hunt, stands as a Roman heroine to a long line of female hunters. Even today there are many who have followed in her spoor that deserves to have their name written in mythology.
For some reason this Thanksgiving, I’m thinking of sheep. The sheep industry is havin’ a fair year. One factor is lamb being included and advertised in specialty dog food. The sheepman’s equivalent market to fast food burgers.
We all have great memories of “the best party.”
One of the most important traits of a good feedlot manager is the ability to assign blame. That is the reason they often employ consulting vets and nutritionists. It keeps them from having to fire regular employees.
The sea level is rising. We are in an interglacial period within the Pleistocene ice age, according to the learned. It has been melting ice for the last 10,000 years. So, we minuscule Earthlings are fighting an uphill battle.
Mankind from prehistory to space exploration has always depended on animals for help in their quest for advancing civilization. Granted, often as bait or as guinea pigs but we have depended on them, nonetheless.
I was just about to cull the cow when the boss sees me swingin’ the gate.
To: Residents of Mt. Ararat School District
It’s not easy being a missionary distributing religious pamphlets door to door. Home-owners will go to extremes to avoid listening to you.
Some people are just flat good at handlin’ horses. They’ve got that good “horse savvy.” Matter of fact, there are people actually makin’ a livin’ trainin’ horses. I admire these folks’ ability and special talent. It’s always a pleasure to see a good horse workin’ right. But horses look at ve…
If wheat gets up to seven bucks
Buffalo Bob took the call on his cellular phone. I caught the last of the conversation, “and if that don’t work, try a shot. No ... not a tranquilizer, a 30-30. At least you’ll be able to eat the meat.”
Do you have any friends named James Roberto, Barnard or Elizabeth who don’t go by Jim Bob, Barney or Liz? If you do, they are no doubt a hangover from parents who insisted that their children be addressed by their legal name.
Lynne parked her car in the little lot behind Cookies Du Moi. It was an odd little corner of Salt Lake City, mixing pawn shops, liquor stores with barred windows and an invasion of upscale pastel-colored urban grazing and knick-knack shops. Small stores with cute names offered yogurt, dried …
Life is just a bowl of cherries to a first-rate feedlot hand,
Many years ago, Dr. Erfan called to tell me his story. He’d spent 17 years inventing and testing a device to help people quit smoking. It involved a small, battery-operated unit that clips in your ear like a hearing aid. Whenever the smoker felt the urge to smoke, he pushed a button on the u…
In this column, I have often mentioned scours, abscesses, big tits, bad bags, cancer eyes, foot rot, slurry pits, afterbirth, retained placenta, castration, heat cycles, sheep pellets and snotty noses.
When one of my cowboy friends tells me he’s getting married, my first question is, “Does she have a job?” This particular wedding took place in the pines of Arizona. I thought that I would never again see such a group of ill-prepared misfits as these groomsmen. Then came the 2020 lineup runn…
Every genuine or would be cowboy’s pride and joy is his “good dawg.” One of the highlights at a Stock Show is the stock dog trials.
Old dogs. They write songs about’em and watermelon wine. They have sayings about ‘em learning new tricks. They even name feet after them, i.e., “My ol’ dogs are shore tired!”
This year we recognized the 75th anniversary of D-Day, the beginning of the end of the Second World War. Europe had been completely conquered except for England, an island about the size of Wyoming. President Roosevelt made the decision to go all in.
We try to be faithful recyclers around the house. I make regular runs to town with the pickup full of newspapers, bottles, aluminum cans, cardboard boxes and tin.
Once upon a time at the start of all creation
You gotta hand it to cowboys. They can turn a birthday cake into a four-alarm fire.
In rural America, farmers and “rural lifestylers” are often neighbors. Seeking a place to better raise their children, to retire in peace or to escape the continuing anxiety of the city, they move to the country and build a house on a 2-acre plot.
A medical doctor friend of mine was recounting his experiences in Africa as a volunteer for a church missionary program.
A cowboy is the way he is because he works with stock.
I’ve always sorta figgered the reason there is more cowboy poetry than there is farmer poetry has to do with horses.
The latest statistics show that less then 2% of the population is directly involved in production agriculture.
I was visiting with Lisa after their bull sale this spring.
Age-in’ a cow is ‘bout the thing I hate most. Seems like they can tell the instant you cross the line into the strike zone.”
Two Jumps said he used to ride bulls. In spite of his name, he tried.
There’s nothing like an evening of calving to promote the romantic image of the cowboy. Right, ladies?
This year I’m having a déjà foo.
Seems like I ride a lot of borrowed horses. At folks’ ranches or trail rides, ropings or brandings they mount me ’cause I’m usually a long way from home. I often bring my own saddle. They offer to lend me a saddle as well, but I decline for personal reasons. Sometimes it’s the only way I can…
How many of you have ever had a new veterinarian out to your place? You think you’re scared!
ATTN: This is addressed to teenagers, tuba players and grown-ups in the news media who have gotten great giggles out of the story that cow flatulence is a danger to mankind.
I was ugly when I was born. How ugly were you? I was so ugly they had to tie my mother’s legs together so I could nurse!
In my life there are people with talents I admire: horse trainers, good ropers, cattle traders, backyard mechanics, welders, guitar players. A.I. technicians, farriers, purebred breeders and rough stock riders, for instance. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that you can’t be good at everythi…
“What happened to your pickup seat? Is that buffalo track?”
It was one of those 2 o’clock mornin’ calls: “Looked like everything was comin’ jes fine, Doc, then he got stuck! Could you come?”
“How ya doin’ Skip?” I asked.
Prejudice is a funny thing. When a city slicker or a dude comes meanderin’ into the Montana bar in Glasgow he’s liable to get a lot of hard stares.
The television paralyzed watchers as the horrendous flames burned California to ashes. The governor in command puffed and pounded, claiming that he and his ENVIRO-DENY-ERS took NO BLAME, NO BLAME, NO BLAME!
Life has always been a balancing act between the haves and have-nots.
It’s never easy to:
It doesn’t make much difference how fast a horse can run if the jockey doesn’t cross the finish line with him.
You remember that Christmas a few years ago,when you waited all night for ol’ Santy to show
A Christmas tree is one of those things Like popcorn balls or angel wings That children make in the snow. Things with beauty unsurpassed That touch our lives but never last More than a week or so. It shines from every living room Like someone in a bright costume That’s happy to see you drop …
Twenty years ago when we still lived in Brighton, Colo., I had invited several friends to have Thanksgiving at my house. (A tradition my insurance agent later said I could no longer afford).
I ran into Randy in the airport. He was draggin’ his right hind leg like an escaped convict tryin’ to cover his tracks.
We were watching The History Channel at Grandma’s casita. It was a story about the USS Enterprise being attacked. It was 1945.